What Makes Moments Meaningful?
Understanding what truly resonates with your soul in a world that keeps us constantly rushing.
Have you ever found yourself zipping through life on autopilot? Days blur together, your morning drink goes untasted, and no matter what’s happening, it doesn’t feel like you’re part of it? Yeah, me too. We're all guilty of sleepwalking through parts of our lives, especially when the routine gets... well, routine. Or when life gets very busy and overwhelming. But what if the secret to a richer life isn't necessarily adding more stuff to your calendar or shelves, but actually questioning and deepening what's already there? The missing piece, I've come to realize, isn't more activities or experiences, it's meaning. But what makes a moment meaningful? And how do we recognize what matters most to us personally?
What Makes Something Meaningful?
Meaning isn't just about paying attention (though that's part of it). It's about connection; to ourselves, to others, and to something larger than ourselves even. It's about knowing what resonates with your unique soul and creating space for more of that in your life.
Think about the last time you felt truly alive and present. What was happening? Who were you with? What values were being expressed in that moment? For me, it was just today, while visiting a feijoa breeder in New Zealand. I'd fallen in love with this fruit since moving to this country almost a year ago, and reached out to him simply hoping to see his plantation and learn a few facts. What unfolded was hours of unexpected connection as we walked among trees bearing fruits from decades of his careful work. He shared what took him longer to cultivate than I've been alive, trusted me despite initial hesitation (I found out his plants are rare and his work is confidential, so opening his doors to me wasn't a light decision to make). Between the rows of trees, our conversation deepened beyond agriculture; we looked into each other's eyes (like… for real), found shared sensitivities, and talked about our difficult childhoods that made us who we are. It mattered, because we cared. Standing there, surrounded by the fruits I've come to love in this country far from mine, with a stranger-turned-connection, time seemed to stop. It felt like paradise. He gave me more than time and information (and some fruity bites), he gave me meaning, he gave me an unforgettable moment full of authenticity, vulnerability, human connection, and the rare gift of someone's genuine trust. Values I hold dear but don’t always make room for.
Meaningful moments happen when our actions align with our deeper values, even in small ways. When we open ourselves to what makes our hearts dance. When we remember why we're doing something, not just mechanically what we're doing. And it’s not just about these moments unfolding, it’s how we decide to feel and value them.
Discovering What Actually Matters to You
To let meaning settle more into our lives, we need to know what genuinely resonates. But how can we find out? Here are some ideas.
★ Question your default settings. We sometimes operate on autopilot, doing things because we've always done them or because everyone else does. Try asking: "If I weren't already committed to this activity/relationship/habit, would I choose it now?" This simple question can reveal what truly matters versus what you've just gotten used to. And it’s a good way to be more appreciative of what we have, or to start thinking about how to shake things up and make them better for everyone, no matter how scary it might be.
★ Notice where you lose track of time. Not because you're distracted, but because you're absorbed. Those activities where hours pass like minutes are pointing toward what naturally engages your authentic self. For some it's cooking, for others it's deep conversation, making things with your hands, going to the gym, or being in nature. They're clues to what brings your spirit alive.
★ Identify your core values. Not the values you think you should have, but the ones you actually hold. When have you felt most like yourself? Most connected? Most alive? What values were being honored in those moments? Maybe it's creativity, truth-telling, connection, beauty, learning, or service. These become your compass for creating meaningful moments. In my personal journey, it was finding when I was most at peace, and proud.
Finding Meaning in Hard Times
Unfortunately, life isn't always about pleasant moments, but that doesn’t mean there’s no meaning.
★ Honor the full truth of your experience. In painful times, meaning doesn't come from false positivity. It comes from acknowledging reality exactly as it is right now… Shitty. There can be profound relief in simply saying, "This is really hard" and letting that be true without immediately trying to fix or reframe it.
★ Connect suffering to values. Notice what your pain reveals about what matters to you. Heartbreak shows you valued that relationship. Grief reflects the depth of your love. Anger often points to violated values like fairness or respect. The intensity of difficult emotions is directly proportional to the importance of the values underneath them. You might at first be mad at yourself for suffering, because you cared a lot for example (some would say cared too much, but there’s no such thing, is it?), but sit with this feeling and explore how caring as much as you do served you in the past, what it means to you and how it makes you who you are.
★ Reach for connection, not isolation. Our instinct in pain is often to withdraw. I’m an expert at this. But meaning rarely flourishes in isolation, even if we need to listen to our needs too and time alone can be beneficial. I found out these past few months that even the simplest connection, like texting a loved one "Today is really hard" or sitting with someone who can witness your struggle without trying to fix it, holds a lot of power. It also brings a lot of value to the relationship itself.
★ Look for the learning. Not immediately, and not in a "everything happens for a reason" way. But when you're ready, gently ask what this experience might be teaching you about yourself, others, or life. What strengths have emerged? What illusions have fallen away? What do you understand now that you couldn't before? Was it a redirection for the better that happened in a really tough way? How did you handle the struggles? Would the 5-years younger version of you have managed as well? And what are you taking from it to help Future you get through hard times? Meaning often emerges from these insights.
The journey toward a more meaningful life doesn't require dramatic changes or perfection. It begins with simply becoming aware of what truly matters to you and making small, intentional choices to honor those values in your everyday moments.
If you wonder how, here are some practical ways to do so, from transforming ordinary conversations to turning routine activities into meaningful rituals. Some practices you can start using immediately to bring more depth to your daily interactions, spaces, and activities:
And I invite you to notice: What naturally brings meaning into your days? What moments, however small, feel aligned with who you truly are? And if you feel like it…
Your responses might offer inspiration to others on their own journey toward a more meaningful life.
With eyes wide open to everyday magic,
Mélanie